twenty months old

The last month has been mostly full of vomit. Iris is down almost a full pound but has lately been eating a lot. I have her on hemp milk now, and I think that will help a bit. I have also abandoned my vegetarian intentions for her and have been giving her (organic, allergy-friendly) chicken nuggets. Anything to get her to put on some weight in a non-dairy and non-egg and mostly non-soy way. It's not that she's allergic to those things, but they don't do good things for her belly. And eggs make her vomit.  

She had her RSV shot last Thursday and vomited that night. So the pediatrician and I agreed today that we would be creative in thinking about future RSV shots. She is supposed to have five over the course of five months. She's had two and I have no intention of letting her get another one in January. It's incredibly painful and traumatic for her to have to be held down and to get two big, huge shots in her legs. It makes regular vaccinations seem like a walk in the park. 

So we still haven't made it a full seven days without vomit since this whole thing started on November 14. I am hopeful that we'll get there this week... keep your fingers crossed. I started her on Losartan again this past weekend since it seems clear that the medication is not the thing that was causing the vomiting. She seems to be tolerating it well. 

Iris has started taking off her oxygen by herself in the morning after we put oil on the tape. Her face is red on both temples because of the tape and she hates to have us touch either temple. It definitely hurts her even though we try to be very gentle. This is a serious downside to having the oxygen off during the day but keeping it on for sleeping. 

Iris loves her morning smoothie.

Really loves it.

Iris's favorite things are playing in the park (especially swinging), reading her nursery rhymes (over, and over, and over), spinning around till she gets dizzy, looking for school buses, testing her limits with her parents, and painting with our nanny.

She has become very affectionate lately, thanks to a book called Hug Machine that she got as a present. She wants to hug and kiss everything. We went outside the other day and she said she wanted to hug and kiss the sun.

What did you say, Gama?

In the park 

aquarium

Iris had her first trip to the aquarium last week. In addition to being a massage therapist, our nanny works with a non-profit that was having a fundraiser at the aquarium. So we did the very uncharacteristic thing of taking Iris out on the town after dinner time.

My mom had come in for short visit because Evan had a business trip in California. At some point during the last few weeks of vomiting we decided that it was better to have two people with Iris in the evenings to help out in case of vomiting.

Iris wasn't really sure what was going on and it took her a while to figure out that there were living creatures behind the glass. Finally, she got really excited about them and was totally wired. She also wanted to make friends with all the little people she saw, and was sometimes more interested in the people than in the water bound animals.

It was hard to get used to her running freely and not having to worry about the oxygen cord. It was also a weird sensation [in a good way] to have Iris look like a totally normal kid, instead of a sick baby. We took the oxygen with us and left it in the car so that she would have it on when she fell asleep.

Sarah, Iris, Alyssia & Ky 

Iris and Grandma look at the fish

Still looking at fish

Very excited about the fish

news

Iris had a pulmonary check up at the end of July. The visit itself was pretty uneventful, so really, no news is good news. Iris is making progress on coming off the oxygen. She is down to 1/8LPM and is frequently pulling the cannula out of her nose. This is a good sign, because it means she doesn't want the extra help. She puts the cannula back in her nose when she needs it. Last night I asked her to put it in her nose, and she did it pretty easily. She is also at the stage where she is shaking her head, "no," so if she doesn't want it in her nose, she makes it very clear by squirming, flailing her hands, and shaking her head.

As far as her growth goes, it's looking great. The nurse didn't do her weight quite right -- she forgot to account for the diaper Iris was wearing. But basically, everything is looking really good.  Notice that on the length-for-age chart (the last chart) that she is basically off the curve. She is very tall. (I can access these charts from her hospital chart online. They don't make all the doctors' notes available to us online, but the charts are fun to look at.)

Going back to the hospital for our clinic visits is always a surreal experience, and I expect it will be forever. Every time I see the logo and pull in to the parking lot, I have little flashbacks to the weeks we spent in the hospital.

It's a nice logo, right? Playful, hopeful. It has to be because after a (short) while in the hospital, you realize how much pain and sadness lives there, too. Thankfully, we have a lot of hope and the pain and sadness lessens with each day. Even so, it would be very easy to fall into self-pity, especially when worn down due to sleeplessness or other stressors.

The second bit of news I have to share is: I got a job. A full-time job. I'm very excited about the basics of the job, and also about the people I'll be working with. They are letting me start part-time while I get care situated for Iris. Our nanny, who is wonderful, isn't available full-time, and she just finished massage therapy school, so wants to pursue that.

The last several days have been stressful because I have been screening potential nannies and have been looking at in-home childcare options, as well as day care centers. A bit of advice to everyone: Google yourself every once in a while -- it's amazing what I've been able to find out about some of these possible nannies based on their names, location, and sometimes a phone number. It's very easy to decide which ones I don't want to hire after I see what they're talking about on Twitter, for example. My current nanny posts things about accepting yourself for who you are, being helpful to others, and generally inspiring things. She's great.

july fun

Evan's birthday falls very close to Independence Day, so the first weekend in July was full of fun, in spite of Evan's recent claim that, "We never have any fun, ever." This may be true, but I don't think it's for lack of trying. It may also be true that we have trouble prioritizing fun in our family. In any case, I sought to right the funlessness, if just for an afternoon. Evan did his part by eating enough to have extra energy for the outing, and even took extra B vitamins.

Our nanny watched Iris so Evan and I could go out (I haven't mentioned the new nanny yet, right? I'll say more later). We loaded up our bikes and went to South Pearl Street to have a meditative foot bath at the drop-in meditation center and then we rode bikes through Wash Park on our way to dinner. We were both fully relaxed and happy to be out in the summer weather together.


For the Fourth of July, we went to our neighbor's house for a cookout and had a good time being in a new place, and meeting new people. Iris had a bit of a meltdown early in the evening so we went home and made sure she ate and drank well. She still hasn't seen fireworks in her lifetime, this may be a parenting fail.

The weather has been terribly hot and we've all been suffering from the lack of air conditioning in the house. Our rooms are upstairs in the hottest part of the house. Thankfully, Evan installed a portable air conditioner that is doing wonders for us all. Our first night with it wasn't spectacular, however. Iris was up needing milk a couple times and then got cold early in the morning. Hope springs eternal, though. Maybe tonight she'll sleep better.

I hired a nanny about a month ago so that I could actually make progress on my dissertation. She is in massage therapy school and has a daughter of her own. She is great with Iris and is teaching Iris more sign language. I usually work from our home office but lately the work has been more related to dealing with health insurance and oxygen issues, rather than my own dissertation work. I absolutely need the free time to deal with the pile of bills.